SoccerSoccerSoccer

Tangled

When I was about 8 or 9 or so, when still living with my biological mom I started doing my own hair.  Not really by choice but by necessity of the situation.  I had a ton of hair and almost no knowledge of how to take care of it.  I was only equipped with cheap shampoo, a round brush, and a bunch of hair elastics.  Lacking conditioner, already I was doomed.....

I remember sitting on the step trying to braid my hair.  I noticed that there were a few knots in the back, but I just yanked a bit to get the strands enough to braid.  Each day, instead of dealing with a little bit of pain from combing through the knots I just yanked and braided, yanked and braided.

It didn't take too many weeks before my hair was in chunks.  And shortly after that the brush never really reached the inward tangle of said chunks.  I sort of regretted where it had gotten, but I couldn't bear the thought of even attempting to comb it all out.  It would have been excruciating.

This went on for over a year; this was way beyond dreads, that's for sure.  So I just left it.  It got to the point where I wouldn't have been physically able to comb it out myself.  There was a huge mat of hair at the back of my head and I was so self-conscious if anyone attempted to touch my hair.  I was ashamed that I had let it get that bad.  So I hid it.

When I was 10, I met a girl at school who became a good friend.  Her name was Christina and her mom was Yvonne, but everyone just called her Bonnie.  Bonnie actually lead me to the Lord and I spent a lot of time at their house and eventually I told them of my hair predicament and they helped me.  It took WEEKS of daily combing through and tubs of conditioner, tackling bit by bit, with a lot of tears and aching scalp.  But finally it was done and after years I was able to run my hands through my wet hair, because you never go through dry curly hair.  It was absolutely amazing, so much so that I cried.

Okay, there are a lot of layers here.  This situation was sad for a number of reasons.  Maybe I'll blog more about my childhood with my biological mom.  This reflection has very little to do with my hair, but about my thoughts on relationships.

Relationships require constant attention and care.  Sometimes the maintenance is easy, sometimes it's difficult and painful.  If the relationship is neglected, it becomes tangled, then if left, matted and then it just feels like it would be impossible to salvage.  As if it would have been an option to shave my head at age 10.  Cut it off and start again? Really?  I think it's the same with most relationships.  Granted there are relationships that you need to walk away from, but the majority of our relationships are too valuable to toss on the heap and saunter away when things get messy.

Anyways, I've been thinking about relationships and how they really take a lot to maintain as healthy.  It's daunting task but it's a life long endeavour certainly not for the faint of heart.  So I remember my hair, I remember how I avoided dealing with it, I remember the long painfully process and finally having my hair back.  It would have been so much less grief had I just worked to maintain it.  That thought inspires me and gives me hope.

Teeth!!!

For the last few weeks with those huge molars (little gal) and incisors (big gal) splitting through soft gum tissue, it has been painful for all of us.  Well, at least misery has had lots of company.  Teething rings, cut up apples, cold pickles.....and now with it being behind us, we are all smiling.

Mother's Day

This year I didn't attend any blaring concerts at the daycare or eat copious amounts of cake at the office.  This year's Mother's Day was a little lower key.

I think it's a complicated holiday that some find really difficult.  I read an article from a friend that talked about mothers being asked to stand up in church so that they could be honoured.  How awkward for the women who haven't birthed babies, or the women who are struggling in their calling of motherhood.  What about all the women who are suffering with infertility?  Or the teen moms?  How about those moms whose kids are complete failures in the eyes of the world (and then by default these poor women are judged as failures as mothers).  And then those that are foster mothers, spiritual mothers.  

I found Mother's Day to be hard when I entered into foster care because I felt guilty that I was too hurt to call my birth mom on the day, but too timid to lavish my foster mom in love and appreciation.  Over the years, I have dealt with my guilt and my relationship has grown with my forever mom, so that now it comes second nature to express my love to her.

When we moved to Bolivia, I was amazed at how extravagant the holiday was.  One of my Bolivian friends said it almost seemed like over-kill, like society was trying to make up for the rest of the year when the women in the country washed, bathed, fixed, hauled, earned, scraped, overworked, single-parented, suffered by in life to make it better for their families, all in a chauvinist society.  But for one day, it all is cake, cards, and flowers....but the next, back to bearing the load.  Anyways, those are my musings on Mother's Day.  But that's not all, surely I won't end it here.

That being said, this Mother's Day has made me appreciate the fact that our celebration isn't to make up for the rest of the year.  We set the day aside to honour our Moms.  I will be celebrated towards the end of the month, maybe I could look at it as being in solidarity with my Bolivian friends.  I'm thankful for the partnership I have with Carl in raising our children and running our home.  

So this past Sunday, we invited our families over to our new house for Sunday dinner.  It was really nice.  Carl had gotten the Moms flowers, and had cooked a great meal.  The tres leche cake was a hit and made me miss my friend Lizette....

Our Moms have done so much for us, and they are wonderful grandmas.  They really are the glue in the family.  What would we do without them?  And both Carl and I are fortunate to have grandmothers too, three.  We consider ourselves to be blessed beyond what we could imagine.  Thanks in large part, to our Moms.

 

Thought From a Card

From a friend who not only makes me laugh, but always makes me think.....

If you can laugh at it,
           You can live with it.

29 for the 5th Time

So this week I celebrated my birthday and it was pretty good.  I think at one point in the morning I thought to myself, "This feels like just a regular good day and I'm okay with that".  I used to be HUGE into making that birthday day spectacular.  In my young years I was idealistic and had huge expectations.  *chuckle*  As if I'm that old.  I'm 34 and though I'm double the age of a 17 year old, I still have 33 years to work before I can get my Old Age Pension.  I'm now a bit more than half way to retirement.  That makes me seem super young.  So instead of pre-planning every aspect of the day to be perfect, like getting my nails done, having great hair and a new top and the best meals planned, and no unpleasant chores to ruin the day, I just got up and smiled at myself at the mirror.  This is who I am!  Asha bounded into my room yelling, "Hey Birthday Girl!!",  Joel and Kezia came to give me hugs (Carl was already at work) and they all wished me a lovely day.

My students made me a birthday card with all their signatures in it and a paper doll cut-out with goofy faces on them.  In all my years of teaching I've never gotten a class card on my birthday.  I told them that though the world may think teens are self-centred and oblivious, this group proves that stereotype wrong and I was very blessed by their thoughtfulness.

I drove home after school and we got ready to go out for supper.  Carl had gotten cards and presents and I opened them at the restaurant.  The cards were hilarious!  And of course I'm going to be very busy watching the 1st three seasons of 30 Rock (my kids rock!).

Off to the soccer field to watch our lil' Asha play.  She really is enjoying it and almost scored a goal.  More about our soccer lives in another post.  The weather was great, the sun was shining and I was wearing my most favourite sunglasses.

After the game, we went home for cheesecake.  And though I deserved a second piece because I'm the birthday girl, I just had one and was just fine with that.  Oh, what a lovely day.

Thanks Jenna ;)

Key Day

I had been thinking about the day for a while but didn't actually start putting things back into bins like I thought I would.  We're hard-core movers so we pack in Rubbermaid bins, not boxes anymore.   I thought I would be sorting and the moment we could get the keys moving stuff over to our new home.  Maybe because I was tired, or maybe because it felt a bit surreal.  Even now it doesn't quite feel real.  Like this isn't reality and it'll end before it even gets started.

So after our marvellous weekend retreat, Sunday came and that was The Day.  We had bought an antique table and chairs from a wonderful old widowed woman a few weeks back and needed to go and pick them up.  She was gracious enough to let us keep the table and chairs at her house until we had possession of our new place, since was only moving out of her house the next day.  May this kind soul be blessed.

Carl's brother had a truck and so in the morning they met to get the table and chairs.  Derek and Laura picked up baked goods for second breakfast, then off we went to the house, keys in hand.  I wasn't sure, would I cry?  Would I have a goofy grin on my face?  Would it seem like we were marching into someone else's house? I guess I did have a goofy grin on my face....

When we walked inside, there was a card and gifts on the mantel.  At first I was a bit confused at who had left them, but as I looked at the card, I recognized a set of names I only would know from paper work.  The previous owners had left a card saying, Welcome Home, and a few treats for the kids alongside a plant.  It's not very often I experience such beautiful kindness from strangers and that day I received two, one from the lady and her table and now this couple who sold us the house.  Amazing.....

The kids were so elated in the house, it was wild.  They ran from room to room, flopping on the floor, hugging the carpet, jumping into the closets, gazing out the windows, amazed at all the light!  *Basement babies, I know*  We sat at our new table and had goodies and coffee and hot chocolate with Nelson, Derek and Laura and our gaggle of kids.  Our first guest in our home.  We sang the doxology in the living room and then Laura prayed for us; that our new home would truly be home, that we would feel settled and connected in our community and for us to be a blessing to those around us.  *Thanks to Laura for these amazing pictures, by the way*

I'm at a bit of a loss to describe the feelings that I have because I'm excited to move forward and apprehensive for yet another change.  Delighted about the space, worried about the bills.  Longing for community and roots, scared to get too comfortable.  "I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".