The Joy of Plastic

Okay, sort of tongue and cheek, because we abhor plastic bags, but a few have managed to make their way into our house.  And when one of the kids was horribly sick with the flu, the other three were getting a bit bored.  Carl was gone for the weekend, so all of us were housebound.  So out came the plastic bags and they were transformed into hilarious costumes.  Later, a music video was made that made me laugh hysterically and cringe all at the same time.  Okay, maybe a few plastic bags around isn't so bad at all....

Art Exhibit

Kezia had the opportunity this fall to be nominated for an art program at the local art gallery.  She was thrilled that she could go and we were thrilled that the school division paid for it!  A few weeks ago there was an exhibit of all the art work that the children did.  It was fun to go and see what she and others had made.  Kezia LOVED the art gallery and wanted to linger even though it was almost closing time.  One other child whispered to me as she was gazing at an amazing Renaissance painting, "I think art is nice, but I don't think I'm in love with it as much as Kezia, so can we go now?".

Dedication

A few weeks ago, we held a special event in our church; parent and child dedication.  It's different than baptising your baby, but more like making a public declaration saying you wish to raise your child in a godly home and teach them about Jesus.  It's just as much about the parents as the child.  And it's saying that you need support from friends and family to do that.

With our other three kids, we had parent/child dedication when they were still babies, and though Elena would still like to call herself a baby, she's definitely a toddler.  It felt like we were late in some respects, but with our lives being less than stable since her birth, we didn't really have a church community to make that dedication with.  We wondered while we were in Bolivia to do it quickly before we left and then while we were in Steinbach, but both places, though such significant church families for us, wasn't long term.  So we decided to do it with our church community that we attend now.

Afterwards we invited family over for lunch and Carl had made quite the feast.  He had also bought some beautiful yellow flowers for Elena that she was so proud of.  All throughout lunch she kept pointing out that her dad had bought her flowers.  She knew it was a special day for her and for us.

Parenting Tidbit

The popular view is that children who misbehave are just “testing limits” – a phrase often used as a justification for imposing more limits, or punishments. But perhaps such children are testing something else entirely: the unconditionality of our care for them.  Perhaps they’re acting in unacceptable ways to see if we’ll stop accepting them. ~Alfie Kohn

I got this quote from the class that I was taking (I'm finished!!) and we had a good discussion around Kohn's thoughts.  I don't think any of us, especially those of us with children would argue that limits and consequences are wrong, but we realized it's good to question how we use them with children.  In the heat of the moment when that student is swearing a blind streak at you, or your child is kicking and punching in the supermarket, we are convinced those little people are acting like this only to make your life a living nightmare.  That somehow this is a cruel test children put all adults through at some point in their lives and repeatedly over and over and over again.  But then after the red is gone from your sight-line and you are more rationale, and so are they, I wondered if maybe that wasn't the case.  A whole lot of energy expended just for another person's harm?  Not like I don't think I would be worth it *chuckle* but it didn't seem to sit right.

Until I read Alfie Kohn's essay from which this quote is taken from, I came to this conclusion.  Maybe people act out horribly because they are wanting attention.  Is that so bad?  Attention and recognition from another human?  Not at all.  Everyone has the need to be acknowledged by another human being; it's in our nature.  We have been created to be in relationship with others, not isolated.  Unfortunately, some of us haven't learn how to obtain that attention using appropriate and healthy methods.  

Why would we expect kids to utilize healthy methods when so many adults are disfunctional in their cry for attention?  You know those people.  Hey, maybe we were once them or are still there.....Anyways, it made me think that maybe, just maybe they want to see if people will walk the walk that they so often talk.  Are they truly committed to me?  Will they stay with me even when I'm a total jerk?  Will they still love me when I hurt them?  

Makes  me think about Jesus and how those soldiers were beating him and spitting on him.  He could have ended it all there, but because he had unconditional love to the utmost degree, he stayed.  He stayed and it cost him his life.  What an example.  

So in my human relationships, especially with my children, I wouldn't even think of not loving them because of something they do.  That's not love.  It  makes it a little less overwhelming when my child has a complete fit in the car for the hundredth time that week because she can't have a candy and continues to buck and scream "NO!" and baul because I won't give in.  As my ears come close to bleeding and I briefly lapse into this idea that she's trying to destroy me and I can't possibly keep going, Kohn's idea reminds that she needs to know that no matter how she acts, there'll be limits in everything except my love for her.  

*still hard, still hard this parenting thing*

Cleaning

Oh goodie!  A post on the joys of cleaning!  You know what really gets me riled up is that one cleaning commercial where the mom, because obviously dads don't clean, says, "I feel like a better mother when I have a clean home," with a particular product in her hand.  I think that bothers me because good moms don't necessarily have clean homes.  Sometimes other things are important.  Men can clean too and we don't need commercials reinforcing the stereotype to kids that men read on the couch and women are scrubbing the floor and making him a martini at the same time.  Okay, that's my two cents on that because I have something else that I was going to write about.....

I thought I would do a follow-up post that I did a few months ago here.  I've always been a person that enjoys a clean house, but not necessarily the work that it requires to get there.  I get sidetracked with other things, especially after having kids this multi-tasking thing is hard on my brain.  My mom would laugh at my zealous approach to cleaning the bathroom when I was  teenager, using about half a can of comet to get the tub sparkling clean with a thick film of residue.  The more product the better!  Kill the germs!  I think I took that approach for many years until I was introduced to these microfibre cloths.  They boasted being able to clean without products and leaving our home free of chemicals.  I was a bit sceptical, but since I wanted to be a support to my friend who was having the party, I bought a few of the cloths.

I had them in my linen closet for quite some time until I had a conversation with someone who used them and LOVED them.  Well, I sheepishly admitted that I had some, but felt more comfortable cleaning with chemicals.  She challenged me to try them, so I did.  And then to make my scientific mind more at ease, I got some agar plates and actually swabbed different parts of my house before and after using those cloths.  Well, let me tell you that organisms, and the lack thereof, growing on those plates sold me.  I saw it with my own eyes that those cloths actually work!  When we moved to California, I told another friend about them and she got so excited that she joined the organization and started up as a consultant.  There was no one in the area that had heard of an earth friendly way of cleaning and now there are a number of consultants.  She told me just when we went for a visit, "Boy, I'm sure glad to you told me about these; in fact all of the central valley is glad you told me,".  *Smile*

Except for a little hiatus when we were in Bolivia, I have been cleaning without chemicals for the last number of years.  Cheaper, definitely.  Better for the environment, for sure.  And I can happily teach my son about cleaning the bathroom without having him either use the entire bottle of product on the counter, or getting a chemical burn on his hands.  Because boys will clean too.

Easter

It's hard to believe that Easter has come and gone and there's still snow on the ground.  I know, I know, I'm fussing, but seriously?!

This year, Easter didn't have the same impact on me as it has other years.  Instead of cutting something out for lent, I tried to add more spiritual disciplines like reading my bible just because and fasting.  I tell you there were some moments of clarity and truth that I experienced over the lenten season.  The actual Easter weekend felt a bit like a small blip on a radar and not much more.  We didn't have a Maundy Thursday with footwashing, or a Good Friday service so Sunday felt a bit like a regular Sunday.  I feel guilty for saying that, because there wasn't heart wrenching emotions and introspective days and planned crafts and food making, that I missed the boat.  We got back from our trip and right the next day we were heading to family gatherings.  I had intended on doing some Easter crafts with the kids but Asha was sick in bed the only afternoon we were home, so I scrapped the idea.

One thing however is we had some good time spent with family.  On Friday and Sunday especially, I had conversations with people that I wasn't expecting.  My parents were not around for the Easter weekend because a dear friend's funeral was happening out of province.  My grandparents hosted lunch on Good Friday and since everyone else had other family happenings except us later on over supper, Carl and the kids and I ended up staying at my grandparents to visit.  It has been so long since we've been able to do that and I came away so thankful for my grandparents' advice and insight into life.  They are truly wise people.

And on Sunday at my extended-extended gathering (yes, there is such a thing when you are gathering with 3rd cousins....) I had an opportunity to encourage one of my 2nd cousins, who just had her second baby and was feeling overwhelmed with 2 children under two.  I had the chance to share my experiences and let her know that even though it feels so overwhelming, she is in fact doing a great job.  She got teary eyed and so did I, remembering that this parenting thing is definitely not for the faint of heart, and we need to have someone acknowledge that every once in a while.

It's a good thing to experience an Easter, or anything for that matter, in a different way than you were expecting.  Just because it's not the same liturgy and tradition doesn't mean that it is any less meaningful.  In fact, because it was unexpected I was blessed.

Not quite what I had hoped for the Easter picture; missing the flowers and green grass outside, having to wear tights, not quite getting everyone looking *normal* at the camera, but hey, it's pretty priceless nonetheless because I got what I wasn't expecting....

Spring Break Winter Trip

It's April and there's still a ton of snow.  Ugh.  But I realized last week that even far from here there is still snow and there are many fun things you can do when it's below zero.

We trekked 11 hours north west to visit Carl's brother Wendell and his wife Shana and kids.  It was the first time that we had all been out to see where they now live.  Elena didn't sleep one wink on the trip there or the trip back.  But she was happy and no one needed to be glued to a screen the entire trip, so for that we are pleased.  Since Wendell and Shana are directors of a camp, there was so much to do!  The weather was really mild and so we went tubing down this psycho steep sled run, ice climbing, and snow shoeing.  The kids were in their glory with all the outdoor activities and playing with their cousins.  I have to admit, I had a great time being outside as well.  If only the entire winter could be so much fun.

We enjoyed reconnecting with Wendell and Shana.  We really miss them, but are so happy to see them thriving in the ministry and life they have been called to.  Just because you are far away from people, doesn't mean the relationship has to dwindle to nothing. We picked up like we had just seen them yesterday, talking way too late in the night, or bonding over crosswords and playing games.  It was a good time, no a really really good time.