Recurring Conversation

Over the last few weeks, since our move into our house, my oldest child and I have been having this conversation.

J:  I'm really excited that we have moved into our new house
Me: Yes, I'm happy to be here too.
J: How long do you think we are going to live here?
Me: I don't know, what do you think?
J: Well, I was thinking that we could live here for about 3 or 4 years
Me: Oh, that's interesting
J: Yeah, and then it's probably time to move on again
Me: Oh.....where?
J: Well, I was thinking we could go back to Bolivia for a while.
Me: And live there for a long, long while?
J: No, I was thinking for maybe a year
Me: And then what?
J: Move to Korea
Me: Oh, why do you think you'd like to live in Korea?
J: It seems that it would be a cool place to live....and then 3 or 4 years after that we can move again......Kezia thought maybe Australia....

I have been feeling some of the same feelings.  Happy to be where I'm at and yet so ready to move onto the next place.  Maybe it came more strongly because I just didn't have the energy to deal with the continual unpacking and settling.  Or that because it's been such a long time since we've had our own place that I've lost the understanding of what it means to settle.  Or maybe that even after a year I miss Bolivia terribly and if my own kid wants to move, hey! let's go!

My husband who is a Human Resources Specialist by title, is also wise in the area of transition, says the feelings are normal.  About a year after a big move, you start to feel itchy feet again.  I can make logical sense of it all, but my heart feels all mixed up inside at times.

I feel guilty for seemingly not being appreciative of what I have here, as if I want to move onto something better.  Or that it would seem we don't recognize the blessing of being close to family and friends.  Or that I'm just a wanderer who doesn't want to put in the effort of blooming where I'm planted.  Always wanting to be on a new adventure.....

But we are appreciative and we do recognize blessings and the importance of having stability.  It just is housed with feelings of homesickness for all the places out there and a desire to go.  That's the struggle of being being a Third Culture Family.

I know that God has us here for good and wonderful reasons.  We've can see that every day in our interactions with people and the heart changes we are experiencing.  Our home is wonderful, with all it's construction dust and bins.  Our neighbours are beautiful people.  Our city is cultural and vibrant, even with all the trash and way too many stoplights (where are the rotundas?).

There is a peace that washes over you when you realize that you are exactly where God wants you to be.  But with that peace comes longing for the next thing.  And I'm trying to find balance in all of it.