A few days ago, I was walking down the street with the kids, coming back from school. As we were talking, Joel noticed out of the corner of his eye a dog and I heard him quietly say, "Aw". I looked and did a little start as I saw that the dog, a Rottweiler, looked exactly like our Nigel. It's been two years and a few days since Nigel died and every once in a while, especially with Joel, I am reminded how much we still miss him. I look at Asha and think she never had the chance to get to know him. Seeing that other dog, it was like we saw Nigel. It should have been that we were walking down Glenwood or something. Joel asks every once in a while if we could have a real dog, not the ones that guard the yard, but a dog that you could actually play with, one like Nigel. That day, he didn't ask again, he was just really quiet.
*****
Asha woke up from her nap one afternoon, and as per usual, started chattering in her bed. As I went in and opened the window, all of a sudden, I caught a faint wiff, a familiar outside smell that made me feel like I was right back in Fresno. They say that memories associated with smell are the most powerful, and as I stood in her room, I closed my eyes and almost felt like we were back there. When I opened them, I felt almost disoriented, as if I would have forgotten where I actually was. I picked her up, feeling a bit homesick, wishing I could have that smell once again. When I told Carl about it, he smiled and asked, "Was it some polluted, gross, and smoggy smell?". Yes Carl, sigh, it probably was.
It's funny how memories just creep up on you. In the strangest circumstances or places. There haven't been too many instances in my life where I am so strongly taken back somewhere, I have felt a bit confused. How could I have known on a particular trip to Selkirk to pick up a dog, he would effect me and my family so deeply, even two years after his death. How could it be that the smell in the central valley, that I absolutely despised, I actually long for once I'm gone from that place?
So I wonder now, as I go about my day with the kids and Carl, the places I go, how are the little things being seared into my memory? The fresh meat smell of the market, the sound of the diesel engined micros, the high pitched scream of those creepy bugs.....the things that seem mundane or down right annoying, will I miss them? Will they bring me back to this place long after I leave?
6 comments:
i was missing georgetown this weekend...something fierce. i think it started with a point of Grace song and i just giggled and teard up at the same time...
memories are so incredible special, it's weird how the smallest most insignificant things bring you right back.
you've had so many amazing adventures/experiences in your lifetime!
The other day I was sitting by a man on the bus who smelled strongly of alcohol, and was surprised at myself for enjoying a normally gross smell because of the association of that smell for me with Itipini. It made me miss South Africa so much! Funny how memories come back to us in unexpected ways.
It is amazing how strong smell is and how it can take you right back...amazing!
Great post!
:) good post friend.
i love going down memory lane. even if sometimes it's emotionally painful.
Hey kathy, I know what you mean about the high pitched creepy bugs, we had those in japan (cicada's?)... anyway, i hated the way those things would fly their wobbly way into my face so I'd walk around (or drive my bicycle around) with an umbrella fanned out in front of my face to ward off the bats and cicada's landing in my hair - and to give the locals a show of the crazy foreigner. And yes, there are times I miss it.
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