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Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Sunday, November 9, 2014
The day of ridiculous costumes and candy overwhelm me
Ugh. I was glad that I wasn't working when this week came upon on us. The frantic hollering about costumes and of course it had to be Spirit week for two of our kids at school = more costumes to gather up. I was determined not to buy a whole bunch of things because seriously, for some of our kids this day is the only day they will dress up. I'm not spending $30 on a one-day outfit. I managed to find a great bargain for Throw back Thursday; a gaudy 70's outfit and a very cute 20's outfit.
Well, it worked out pretty well. No theme like last year, but some pretty stellar costumes. A pumpkin that was free, a Lalaloopsy doll which meant a purchase of a fabulous pink wig and some sewing alterations to a dress we already had. Cruela de Vil, which required me to hone my sewing skills, for which I was very proud. And lastly a Star Wars Storm Trooper. Cheap costume and a borrowed helmet.
This year the older two went with friends and their parents, which gave me some heart palpitations. How is that they are old enough for this?! I trekked around the block with the younger two and met a lovely gal from a few blocks away.
And then home we went with bags and bags of candy. It has been an awful week for me as I pass buckets of candy, dipping in my hands casually to get a small packet of chocolate, over and over and over again......
Well, it worked out pretty well. No theme like last year, but some pretty stellar costumes. A pumpkin that was free, a Lalaloopsy doll which meant a purchase of a fabulous pink wig and some sewing alterations to a dress we already had. Cruela de Vil, which required me to hone my sewing skills, for which I was very proud. And lastly a Star Wars Storm Trooper. Cheap costume and a borrowed helmet.
This year the older two went with friends and their parents, which gave me some heart palpitations. How is that they are old enough for this?! I trekked around the block with the younger two and met a lovely gal from a few blocks away.
And then home we went with bags and bags of candy. It has been an awful week for me as I pass buckets of candy, dipping in my hands casually to get a small packet of chocolate, over and over and over again......
Saturday, November 8, 2014
My Birthday Boy
I love this man more than I did a year ago. Though he has aged, he continues to bring us new joy and fierce love. Happy Birthday Carl.
Thursday, November 6, 2014
What a Journey
Part of why I wasn't blogging much was because I was very occupied with work. There had been many changes over the last few months; a new director of the department came and unfortunately over time wasn't a healthy fit. My boss, the coordinator retired in the spring and so I was left as the only person in my specific area covering two jobs. It was a combination of many factors that left me for almost 4 months doing the extra work and I was very tired.
I guess I had organizational and department loyalty, so I kept working beyond my energy level for quite some time. The job was overall enjoyable and I loved (and was drained by) the greater responsibilities. Plus there were difficult things going on in the workplace (and unfortunately in my case, had been since my first few weeks at work) that really took a toll on me. Sometimes when adversity creeps slowly into your normal, slowly erodes your healthy, you don't quite realize it until it's almost too late. People around me were also struggling and by summer, we were all very exhausted.
I was ready to throw in the towel, but somehow I felt that since I had invested a great deal into my work, I needed to invest energy into de-investing. Does that make sense? Carl was very supportive; he didn't try to fix anything but just stood by me, reminding me that whatever I chose, he would be there. I decided to engage in the workplace health process instead of quitting. Plus, with the coordinator position open and that really being the job I wanted, I needed to stay. Well, the director was gone by mid-summer and I was scheduled for an interview for the coordinator position. Though things were most definitely better, I was still on edge about what the future held.
At the end of summer I had my interview, which went really well. I felt prepared, I felt confident and I asked some insightful questions. However, when the days turned into a week after my interview, I had a sick feeling inside; I knew in my heart of hearts that the job wasn't going to be offered to me. And two days later, on my first anniversary of my job, I was told 'No'.
I was devastated because I had held out for months and had worked extra (I was compensated for taking on the coordinator role above my regular duties, don't worry). Most of all, I had endured a difficult season in the department for the hopes of being able to claim the reward of the job I had wanted right from the beginning. I remember the day last year that I started my position; I walked in and told myself that I wouldn't be doing this for more than a year. Everyone knew that my boss was retiring and he was quite vocal in his endorsement of me as a potential successor. To me, the administrative job was a stepping stone, not a landing pad. Oh, if I only knew then that it wouldn't be a move up but a move out.....I knew what I had to do. I wrote an eloquent resignation letter and gave my notice.
It was one of the hardest decisions I have had to make. Though it has not been without it's challenges, I really enjoyed my position for the last year. I have had fabulous co-workers and have gained so much insight and skill. I had thought that I was gaining experience, but I came to face the hard cold reality that what they were looking for was specific outside experience, something that no one who was interviewed had and so the offer wasn't given to anyone. I also realized that I have a limit to how much adversity I can endure. At some point, when things are going on that are out of your control, you have to walk away in order not to be hurt even more.
I was wondering what God was trying to teach me in all of this. I feel like I have certainly learned about letting go. I could boast last year that I have never applied or interviewed for a job I haven't gotten. Well, now I can humbly say that my last two interviews have resulted in a 'No'. That's a difficult thing to swallow for a prideful person like myself. I have also learned that God is moving and I can't understand if I am ploughing ahead on my own path. I could have made excuses and made anything work out, but that would have had ramifications in the future. I have to trust He has something bigger and better than I can even fathom; it just doesn't always come at the time or place I expect.
I managed to be able to agree to have a farewell. It was a good way for closure, for me to hear about how people were going to miss me and how people were able to come and say, "I'm sorry that you are leaving considering all you've been through. It is a real loss." I was also able to share about why I was leaving and be honest about staying true to what I have set out to do. I didn't go back to work to make a little extra money. I didn't go back to work because I was bored at home. I didn't go back to work because I felt unfulfilled as a woman at home. I went back to work to gain skills and experience to move me up into leadership positions. That's where I feel I'm supposed to end up and staying in my current position with no chance to move up meant I had to move on.
The last few weeks I rested and cleaned. I spent time with my neighbour and friends and did things that I enjoyed. I also interviewed for a job at the University and was offered the job. I admit, I was a bit gun shy of starting somewhere new. Will I have meaningful work? Will I be appreciated and valued? Will it be a good balance with my family? Will I eventually have leadership opportunities? And more importantly in the here and now, Will I be healthy enough to handle working?
I read a beautiful and challenging devotion this week that in part said,
I guess I had organizational and department loyalty, so I kept working beyond my energy level for quite some time. The job was overall enjoyable and I loved (and was drained by) the greater responsibilities. Plus there were difficult things going on in the workplace (and unfortunately in my case, had been since my first few weeks at work) that really took a toll on me. Sometimes when adversity creeps slowly into your normal, slowly erodes your healthy, you don't quite realize it until it's almost too late. People around me were also struggling and by summer, we were all very exhausted.
I was ready to throw in the towel, but somehow I felt that since I had invested a great deal into my work, I needed to invest energy into de-investing. Does that make sense? Carl was very supportive; he didn't try to fix anything but just stood by me, reminding me that whatever I chose, he would be there. I decided to engage in the workplace health process instead of quitting. Plus, with the coordinator position open and that really being the job I wanted, I needed to stay. Well, the director was gone by mid-summer and I was scheduled for an interview for the coordinator position. Though things were most definitely better, I was still on edge about what the future held.
At the end of summer I had my interview, which went really well. I felt prepared, I felt confident and I asked some insightful questions. However, when the days turned into a week after my interview, I had a sick feeling inside; I knew in my heart of hearts that the job wasn't going to be offered to me. And two days later, on my first anniversary of my job, I was told 'No'.
I was devastated because I had held out for months and had worked extra (I was compensated for taking on the coordinator role above my regular duties, don't worry). Most of all, I had endured a difficult season in the department for the hopes of being able to claim the reward of the job I had wanted right from the beginning. I remember the day last year that I started my position; I walked in and told myself that I wouldn't be doing this for more than a year. Everyone knew that my boss was retiring and he was quite vocal in his endorsement of me as a potential successor. To me, the administrative job was a stepping stone, not a landing pad. Oh, if I only knew then that it wouldn't be a move up but a move out.....I knew what I had to do. I wrote an eloquent resignation letter and gave my notice.
It was one of the hardest decisions I have had to make. Though it has not been without it's challenges, I really enjoyed my position for the last year. I have had fabulous co-workers and have gained so much insight and skill. I had thought that I was gaining experience, but I came to face the hard cold reality that what they were looking for was specific outside experience, something that no one who was interviewed had and so the offer wasn't given to anyone. I also realized that I have a limit to how much adversity I can endure. At some point, when things are going on that are out of your control, you have to walk away in order not to be hurt even more.
I was wondering what God was trying to teach me in all of this. I feel like I have certainly learned about letting go. I could boast last year that I have never applied or interviewed for a job I haven't gotten. Well, now I can humbly say that my last two interviews have resulted in a 'No'. That's a difficult thing to swallow for a prideful person like myself. I have also learned that God is moving and I can't understand if I am ploughing ahead on my own path. I could have made excuses and made anything work out, but that would have had ramifications in the future. I have to trust He has something bigger and better than I can even fathom; it just doesn't always come at the time or place I expect.
I managed to be able to agree to have a farewell. It was a good way for closure, for me to hear about how people were going to miss me and how people were able to come and say, "I'm sorry that you are leaving considering all you've been through. It is a real loss." I was also able to share about why I was leaving and be honest about staying true to what I have set out to do. I didn't go back to work to make a little extra money. I didn't go back to work because I was bored at home. I didn't go back to work because I felt unfulfilled as a woman at home. I went back to work to gain skills and experience to move me up into leadership positions. That's where I feel I'm supposed to end up and staying in my current position with no chance to move up meant I had to move on.
The last few weeks I rested and cleaned. I spent time with my neighbour and friends and did things that I enjoyed. I also interviewed for a job at the University and was offered the job. I admit, I was a bit gun shy of starting somewhere new. Will I have meaningful work? Will I be appreciated and valued? Will it be a good balance with my family? Will I eventually have leadership opportunities? And more importantly in the here and now, Will I be healthy enough to handle working?
I read a beautiful and challenging devotion this week that in part said,
God is about to do something new, He starts small and speaks to those who are listening.....
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Sunday, November 2, 2014
Summer Vacation Recap
There isn't snow on the ground, so I'm not that late. Like I said before much has been going on, but I wanted to share about our summer.
In spring, we were planning on going out West to visit friends and attend my cousin's wedding. We hadn't really thought about how long we would be able to go because we used up much of our vacation time going to Bolivia. As it turned out, both Carl and I had banked time and it was most necessary for me to take a break and go on vacation, so we were able to take 8 days.
Our kids travel really well and so the 18 hour journey there and back wasn't too ridiculous. We first had a few days with friends, Tim and Danae and their girls. We enjoyed geocaching, playing games, shopping, the amusement park and of course the kids did a ton of melt beads. Then we were able to see my cousin Darlene, who was visiting from UAE and my aunt and uncle as well.
We said our farewells to the Calgary folks and then headed West. We spent a bit of time in Banff, which was really relaxing.
Then off to the wedding in Edgewater, which was beautiful. The setting was a farm yard in the Canadian Rockies; the wedding went smoothly and was enjoyed by all. It was so nice to be away together......
In spring, we were planning on going out West to visit friends and attend my cousin's wedding. We hadn't really thought about how long we would be able to go because we used up much of our vacation time going to Bolivia. As it turned out, both Carl and I had banked time and it was most necessary for me to take a break and go on vacation, so we were able to take 8 days.
Our kids travel really well and so the 18 hour journey there and back wasn't too ridiculous. We first had a few days with friends, Tim and Danae and their girls. We enjoyed geocaching, playing games, shopping, the amusement park and of course the kids did a ton of melt beads. Then we were able to see my cousin Darlene, who was visiting from UAE and my aunt and uncle as well.
We said our farewells to the Calgary folks and then headed West. We spent a bit of time in Banff, which was really relaxing.
Then off to the wedding in Edgewater, which was beautiful. The setting was a farm yard in the Canadian Rockies; the wedding went smoothly and was enjoyed by all. It was so nice to be away together......
Monday, October 27, 2014
It's Been a While
In the last few months much has been going on. So I took a bit of break from blogging because I needed to hole up and focus on other things. But I'm back and I plan to do a bit of catch up. In August we went on a lovely family vacation and I plan to tell you all about it and share pictures.
Sometimes I'm not sure how many people stop by, but even if it's a small handful, I'm back. I quite enjoy telling stories and I think now I can look forward to it again.
Sometimes I'm not sure how many people stop by, but even if it's a small handful, I'm back. I quite enjoy telling stories and I think now I can look forward to it again.
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