Guess Who's 8 Months?

I Am!  It's me, Elena, in case you were wondering.  My mom is better at the typing thing, so I've solicited (yes, I have a brilliant grasp on vocabulary) her to give you an update of what I've been doing this month.  If you want to see the picture in a larger size, just click on it.

I'm a growing girl, but I didn't step on a scale this month.  I know I'm getting close to 18lb and I'm definitely longer than 26 inches because I grew out of my sleepers.  Yes, I'm big.  But not so big that I can't get up in the middle of the night to nurse (sigh from my Mom)  No, I'm still little...

I went to my first wedding, my uncle Nelson got married to pretty auntie Kim.  The dress was a bit hard to crawl in, but I managed.

I prefer what ever is being eaten at the table, though I do enjoy the baby food that Mom has made into those frozen pucks. You wouldn't believe that there are some really interesting flavours of baby cereal.  I now can eat carrots, bananas, avocados, apple juice (which I LOVE to guzzle from my bottle), mangoes, pineapples, prune, yogurt, jello, marshmallows (that was from Grandma) black beans, and cantalope.

I started off entertaining everyone with my spit bubbles, but then added scrunching up my nose when I laugh which gets people squealing ADORABLE every time.  Now I'm pulling myself up to standing against everything, even my Dad's legs.  I can stand up in my playpen and even more impressive, I can lower myself down to sitting again.  Yeah, I'm amazing.

Then I wowed everyone with my ability to climb one of the basement stairs.  One day I got caught there and after 3 minutes of yelling figured it would be easier if I just got myself down.  Now I really have the hang of it and I think I'm almost ready to climb a bunch of them (gasp from my Mom).

I still love sucking on shoes and I'm pretty good and finding bits on the floor to eat.  Outside the ground is covered in these crispy dry leaves that are quite interesting to put in the mouth.  I even suck the bar of soap if I can get into the bathroom, but now even Asha quickly closes the door when I'm around.

My Mom is teaching me how to sign More (Mas) and Milk (Leche).  I clap my hands together and then I get more food or they keep tickling me and it's great!  I don't really try to sign Leche because when Mom asks me, "Quieres Leche?", I just growl and she nurses me.  I don't think I need to wave my hand when growling works just fine.

I got a bit of a cold a few days ago and was pretty snotty.  I HATE getting my nose wiped.  But having snot drip into my mouth feels kind of gross too.

And a few days ago, I felt something kind of weird on my bottom gum.  I run my tongue over something scratchy when I'm saying La La La.  My mom keeps checking my mouth, so I think whatever those things are are pretty important (oh, she just told me they are my bottom teeth).

Well, it's getting late and I'm getting cranky.  I want to go to bed now.  Right now.

Reflections on Re-Entry #3

          I can figure how my surroundings have changed, that's for sure.  But I was finding it difficult to pinpoint how I've changed internally.

One thing I have learned is what it means to be a foreigner and an immigrant.  How even if I have something profound to say, I have no words to express myself so I must smile and be silent, all the while being assumed to be stupid.  There's nothing to describe the feeling of standing in front of the school, holding a notice and having no idea what it says or what I'm supposed to do with it.  Or the helpless feeling of realizing that you can't take your kids to the Dr. by yourself.

I've learned to think first before I shout something in anger.  Ha! by the time I can think of the word, the burning rage is gone!  So I pray that will continue on in my home country where my first language is easily expressed.

I've learned that though life is simpler in many places, things are so so hard.  Like grocery shopping, not so much selection, but what a heavy load to carry home and to wash it with iodine before putting it in the fridge.     That was my experience, but then there were people in the country side who have to walk for miles to get enough water just for the day.  I at least I had running water in my house!  I continue to have deep respect for women, who often are the driving force in the family, in developing countries.

I've also changed in the fact that I have to let things go.  I've been humbled way too many times (I guess I'm a slow learner) in order to learn that sometimes things aren't in my control.

I know that there are some amazing people living their lives on the other side of the globe and I carry them inside my heart.  If for nothing else, they have changed me most profoundly.  Just in how they lived their lives and share theirs with me.

And as I sort all of this and continue to journey forward, I most likely won't stay the same...and there goes again this self-reflective stage where I have to figure out who am I all over again.

Church Family

I've noticed that my deepest connections, my profound emotions attached to community are in my church family.  Those emotions are all triggered by the collective act of singing together.

I remember the winter of 2006, knowing that Carl and I would most likely move on from our pastoral position to continue studying, having emotions pour out of me as I sat singing in the service.  Granted, I was pregnant, but still, I ached to think of leaving my church family.

And in Fresno, I remember singing songs that touched me to my soul; God was speaking to me for sure.  Then later on hearing those songs on the radio I cried because it reminded of what I left behind and I missed being there.

Our first Sunday in Bolivia, we sang a song that we had learned at Braeside years previous.  Joel looked up at me with tear filled eyes and said, "I miss my Braeside family".

Since being back in Canada, Sunday mornings were hard.  We would pull up to another church (different every Sunday because we were visiting or preaching or presenting....) and Asha would cry and say she would miss Yuneth from church; that she wanted to go back to Bolivia to Her Church.

This church family stuff is pretty powerful.

We realized that we need to find a place to fellowship, a place to call home even if our lives right now feel so up in the air.  There's no coincidence when God has you in a certain place at a certain time, because we have experienced so much blessing from our church that we are going to now.

The kids have connections from VBS and school, have family connections (which is HUGE), and are loving Sunday School.  There are so many adult Sunday school choices, I'm just giddy!  And the preaching has been so amazing and the singing has been obviously picked just for me.

The sermon series is on being a Follower of Jesus.  Not just a believer, but an active follower and what that looks like in our world.  I think it's timely that we are hearing that just coming back from an MCC term, trying to figure out how to tangibly live out our faith where we are in light of what we've experienced.

I don't know a lot of people, but it seems they all know us from hearing from my parents.  Countless people came up to us telling us that because of the prayer chain, they had been praying for our time in Bolivia and then towards the end with the whole passport saga.  Wow!

The body of Christ is connected and powerful.  It's a group of mismatched people trying to give glory to God however they can.  It's a community that supports one another, no matter where we're from and where we're going.  It's a place where I can belong, no matter where we call home.

Viva Santa Cruz!

 
                                                                        Since today is Santa Cruz Day, the kids are in their Crucena outfits.  Feliz cumpleanhos, nuestra tierra bella.

Moments

Last week we had a blessed weekend.  Carl had the opportunity to go with his friend to the States for a football / baseball /guys trip.  I stayed home and went with the kids for a sleepover to a dear friend and her kids' home (her husband was also down south).

The next day my family gathered to celebrate the birthdays of my brother and cousin.

So I sat for a moment during the activities of the weekend and thought to myself, "This isn't some quick trip.  Nobody is on vacation; we all live here.  I don't have to quickly get in the visiting because we're leaving.  No one is going anywhere and I can just soak in this moment and anticipate many more to come".

There is something so soul soothing to think about that....

Reflections from Re-entry #2

    Before leaving Bolivia I was looking for the clearly defined path leading to our future.  I was naively hoping that everything would be laid out.  In reality I think we all know that isn't the case, no matter where or how we live our lives.  Sigh.....darn it.

When I read this saying it was scary and intimidating, it made me feel lost and disoriented.  And I have to admit I was angry at thinking someone could have the nerve to articulate the lack of path.  What?!  For pity's sake.....I want the straight road, like the one you have in Saskatchewan.  Making no effort to steer because it's all right in front of me, never changing.

Ach, it can't be that easy or brain numbing.  I actually have to put some effort into it.  Since we've had very unique experiences, my path will most likely look nothing like yours. I can't run blazing into the field, no, I have to be patient and take deliberate steps.  That is just so hard right now.  I just want to run, I don't care the direction, but this slow is killing me. And in fact, there are days where I feel at a stand still.  How can a path be made if I'm not moving, HELLO?  I'm floating, drifting, not feeling like I'm going anywhere.

Not knowing when or where to plant my foot next, but trusting God will guide me in His time.  That's what my brain is saying to my aching heart....

Emotions

Lately I've been feeling like I want to be back in Bolivia.  I miss it terribly and have a dull ache in my chest.  Before it used to be just when I was driving, but now it's when I make supper, when I pick up the kids from the bus stop or go grocery shopping.  It's not because I'm not enjoying life here in Canada.  Maybe because our life is so undefined right now.  Hallelujah!  I have a job subbing and have enjoyed my first day.  But it's not a full time position (don't get me wrong, I'm not pining for a full time job) where you have stability and you know where you'll be day after day.

Carl has a bit of work with the conference and is patiently waiting for The Job, which is still in the beginning stages of applications.

So all this uncertainty surrounds me.

But interestingly enough, it wasn't that I was bemoaning jobs or lack thereof when I was flooded with homesickness.  I was sitting at the gymnastics club waiting for Kezia's class to be finished.

I looked at those families and wondered where they were driving from and what they were going home to.  And then I thought of all those years sitting at Club 7, looking at the families there, wondering where they were driving from and what they were going home to.  I want to be walking back from Club 7, home to my house and living my life in Bolivia.  I want my old life back, well mostly, I don't know sometimes.