Lately I've been feeling like I want to be back in Bolivia. I miss it terribly and have a dull ache in my chest. Before it used to be just when I was driving, but now it's when I make supper, when I pick up the kids from the bus stop or go grocery shopping. It's not because I'm not enjoying life here in Canada. Maybe because our life is so undefined right now. Hallelujah! I have a job subbing and have enjoyed my first day. But it's not a full time position (don't get me wrong, I'm not pining for a full time job) where you have stability and you know where you'll be day after day.
Carl has a bit of work with the conference and is patiently waiting for The Job, which is still in the beginning stages of applications.
So all this uncertainty surrounds me.
But interestingly enough, it wasn't that I was bemoaning jobs or lack thereof when I was flooded with homesickness. I was sitting at the gymnastics club waiting for Kezia's class to be finished.
I looked at those families and wondered where they were driving from and what they were going home to. And then I thought of all those years sitting at Club 7, looking at the families there, wondering where they were driving from and what they were going home to. I want to be walking back from Club 7, home to my house and living my life in Bolivia. I want my old life back, well mostly, I don't know sometimes.
3 comments:
Oh, I know what you mean, even though everything I know about Bolivia I learned from you. I know about being homesick for a place that was only meant to be temporary...I know about growing attached to a lifestyle, a predictability and stability - and then having to leave it. Oh if only we had some coffee and a quiet corner to sigh together. I will sigh with you from afar.
oh Kathy, i'm sorry that you are feeling homesick. everywhere to turn there is newness...that or seeing how much the things you remembered have changed...making it not feel 'normal' anymore. it does take time to feel 'at home whilst in transtition' i love you lots! please remind me...i need to introduce you to my friend tuesday nights at the gym...you'd love her!
oh squash...isn't it interesting how a place where you spent only 3 years of your 33 years feels the most like home? what amazing impressions that place has left upon your heart and mind.
how blessed you are to have gotten to experience life in bolivia and to have made so many wonderful friends and had so many incredible experiences to make you miss it so...
hugs to you as you try to once again find your place back 'home' in canada. xoxo
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