I'm getting a bit tired of playing in the "Transition Play". I want this drama to end. I'm getting a little weary of not knowing what my day will look like. Will it be:
Carl working there
or
Carl working here
or
Me at home
or
Carl at home with the wee ones
or
Me working anywhere
or
Me at home with Carl and the wee ones
It's like some crazy lottery every morning. I need structure and I need enough notice to prepare myself emotionally. And some days I'm an emotional wreck because not only can I not plan my day I can't plan my week or even my month. When is the job coming? No one knows in this household. ARG!
I'm learning a lesson in control, that's for sure. So I guess I should get used to my lines, my role in this drama. I'm not the script writer or the director because I'm not God. I have no idea how long this play is running, but I should stop fussing and enjoy my lines. Maybe there's some secondary plot I'm missing out on, some contrasting theme that is only obvious towards the end.
*But some days I'm going to just quietly wish the scene would just end*
4 comments:
(((hugs))) i understand that you crave structure. i remember what a woman said about you this weekend. Something to the effect of "you shine Jesus to everyone. you and your family" God is working out the finer details and it'll be more than we could ever imagine! love you...
Maybe if you yell "CUT"? I know all about needing structure and needing to plan. So I feel your pain in this. I have no words of wisdom but I pray that God will carry you thru this time.
(And I'm kind of wishing we still lived in Stbh so we could go for coffee.)
Oh boy...I am totally a structured gal too - I HATE flying by the seat of my pants, so just reading this was hard!!
Hugs and prayers as you wait for what God has planned for you in the next Act.
ps: LOVE the new blog title, by the way!
I should just yell CUT! Not sure if it would really help anything, but I sure would feel better. Maybe that was the problem :)
Thanks for your support gals!
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