Carl and I went to a workshop on Saturday, which was very insightful. I'm not sure what I was expecting at a workshop for parents or those who are involved in children's lives, but the Ah-ha moment that I experienced was something I wasn't anticipating.
A couple of points our speaker made was that we need to see the miracle in the mess. How often do we actually see the child in front of us as a marvelous creation who is impacting the world? Gosh, I just get so irked when they leave their shoes in the entrance, spill the honey, leave the fridge open, as if they do all these things just to make me angry. Sometimes I fail to notice the kindness, the perseverance, the stamina, the creativity, the courage, all of that wrapped in my children. When she articulated her next point about not letting the daily irritations steal our perspective, Carl and I laughed out loud. Geez. That's us.
I often fail to see that each of my children are unique, each have a purpose and in order to help them find their purpose, I should probably model mine. Gosh, I only realized what drives me a few years ago. I should be nurturing them and walking with them, instead of bossing them around like my minions, ignoring the fact that they need affirmation instead of a nagging parent.
There was a great deal of the information that I benefited from, but my Ah-ha moment had to do with Asha. I'm not going to lie, generally speaking she's our spunkiest kid. She has fire and drive and passion that can be sometimes very difficult to parent. However, she's also the kid that has a marvelous way of connecting with people, something that I am awed by. I have Facebook friends from all over the world who are only friends with me on-line as a result of knowing Asha. Not like I'm chopped liver, but they are usually only interested in what she's doing!
Our speaker was talking about her adult daughter (whom I had the privilege of working with last year) who is a purposeful person and passionate about justice. "She was a kid that always knew when something was not fair, she always made sure everyone knew of the injustice. And now as an adult, that is what drives her". Her daughter is someone who seeks to be involved in making the world a more just and beautiful place for all.
On Saturday I realized that is exactly what drives Asha. It looks like a kid who is constantly calling out her siblings and yelling "It's not fair!" at almost every moment of the day. Her two most favourite words are Never and Always. She's not content to see something she sees as wrong stay that way. No, she will bring attention to it and be the force to change it.
She loves justice and it is what drives her. Right now it's tricky to parent, but thankfully made a bit easier now that I gained this insight from the fabulous workshop. I know that she will impact those around her and champion for those that are oppressed by injustice. In the meantime, I'm going to have keep focusing on this amazing miracle in the midst of the every day mess.
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